


best of vine (rip vine)

by hwnghynjn



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Tags will be updated as I go along, a fresh loaf if you will, also thi is entirely undrafted so everything is right off the top of my head, idrk where im going with this as usUaalll, lord i hope this makes it through, pls enjoy!!, this is inspired by a lot of the bs i have in my gc, uh yeah, ya girl finally decided to spin out a gc fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-02-08 02:32:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12854841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwnghynjn/pseuds/hwnghynjn
Summary: an svt gc fic, because that hasn't been done beforemostly memes and vine references as well as actual live conversations i have in my gc with some of my dearest palsenjoy!!





	1. what the Fuck is up, kyle

**Author's Note:**

> props to all the gc fic writers how tf do u even group chat  
> the usernames should be pretty obvious bc my lazy ass just arranged them by age in the beginning  
> on a lighter note, nuest and svt collab today!!!  
> pls enjoy reading!!

 

_**eyeofthetiger** has added  **scoops, jeongmom, hongbingsu, junwhee, autobiography, woozy, literalsun, skyscraper, xumingho, jejuboo, rapperchoi**  and **littlegiant** to a chat._

_**eyeofthetiger** has changed  **autobiography** 's username to  **xX_em0b0i96_Xx.**_

_**eyeofthetiger** has changed  **woozy** 's username to  **mulletman.**_

 

 2:47 a.m

 

**eyeofthetiger:** what the Fuck is Up, kyle

 

**scoops:** what is this

 

**xX_em0b0i96_Xx:** kwon soonyoung, i will have your throat by the end of this evening.

 

**junwhee:** oh shit he's bringing out the fullstops-

 

**xumingho:** what is this pt. 2

 

**jeongmom:** what is this pt. 3

 

**eyeofthetiger** : we all know each other from class and stuff so i guess it would be cool to have a group chat with y'all :D

 

**mulletman** : i don't think your standard of what's cool really applies to, like, 90% of the population

 

**literalsun** : i agree, last week he sent me a picture of him in a purple leopard print bomber jacket captioned with the words "im spending my paycheck on this jacket"

 

**skyscraper** : just the thought of that gave me indigestion

 

**xX_em0b0i96_Xx:** i can testify, he's physically in pain

 

**skyscraper** : babe i'm sorry but i can't take your username seriously

**skyscraper:** i'm going to change it

_**skyscraper**_   _has changed **xX_em0b0i96_Xx** 's username to  **lamppost**_

 

**lamppost:** that was the worst five minutes of my life

**lamppost:** also, why am i lamppost

 

**skyscraper:** because you're tall and you light my way 

 

**lamppost:**...

**lamppost:** cheesy, i'll take it

 

**jejuboo:** ha H  g AY

 

**rapperchoi:** \- he types as he's lying against my shoulder

 

**xumingho:** ha H exposed

 

**junwhee:** babe, your head is literally on my lap as you're writing this

 

**xumingho:** shush let me have my moment

 

**hongbingsu:** plot twist: you're all gay

**hongbingsu:** end of discussion.

 

**jejuboo:** and this is why he's the dad

 

**scoops:** wow

**scoops:** such flagrant disregard for your true father figure

 

**literalsun:** *one of the dads

 

**scoops:** thanks seokmin

 

**jeongmom:** seokmin stop sucking up to cheollie

**jeongmom:** we all know you're doing it for the favoritism

 

**hongbingsu:** as if you're not biased towards chan

 

**jeongmom:** i can't read suddenly, i dont know

 

**skyscraper:** *mumbles* so dino is your favourite

 

**jeongmom:** what was that? speak up honey, i can't hear you 

 

**scoops:** you're reading. From a screen.

 

**jeongmom:** what was that, cheollie?

 

**scoops:** ahem yeah mingyu speak up

 

**rapperchoi:** Whipped™

 

**jejuboo:** whipped like your ass in five minutes if you don't buy me the ice cream you stole from me two weeks ago

 

**junwhee:** ooo, kinky

 

**lamppost:** if anyone needs to blackmail jun, i have material

 

**junwhee:** what if i buy you murakami's latest book

 

**lamppost:** that's bribery

**lamppost:** and i, am a weak man

**lamppost:** consider me sold

 

**jeongmom:** how could you

**jeongmom:** we were ALL rooting for you

 

**lamppost:** sorry wrong number

 

**xumingho:** we're in an online chatroom

 

**lamppost:** wrong address

 

**skyscraper:** sometimes i wonder why we're together in the first place

**skyscraper:** then i see u in my hoodie next to me and i'm reminded

**skyscraper:** he looks like the softest most huggable bean ever how is this man scary he is the Purest™

 

**mulletman:** i think i just threw up in my mouth

 

**jeongmom:** as if you don't die a little inside at every selca seokmin sends you

 

**mulletman:** as if you wouldn't routinely send me pictures of seungcheol at his cafe job captioned with "look at my capable Man"

 

**jeongmom:** g,goodnight

 

**mulletman:** wait why the fuck am i mulletman

**mulletman:** kwon soonyoung.

 

**literalsun:** he's asleep with chan in the next room

 

**mulletman:** well i've lived with this disrespect for the past twenty-one years

**mulletman:** i'll suffer for another 6 hours

 

**junwhee:** ~~soonyoung this means you only have until 9 am tomorrow morning if your ass doesn't-~~

 

 

**mulletman:** actually, until 8:56 a.m tomorrow morning

 

**jeongmom:** don't act like you'll be up that early

 

7:21 a.m

 

**littlegiant:** why the fuck were you all up at 2:47 in the morning

 

**junwhee:** reasons

**junwhee:** while you're here, chan, you might want to save your boyfriend's ass

 

**littlegiant:** oh right

 

_**littlegiant** _ _has changed **mulletman** 's username to  **dizzy**_

 

**jejuboo:** can you believe channie just saved a man

 

 


	2. freesh avocadoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rapperchoi: yall i balanced two matchsticks on my lashes today
> 
> jejuboo: fuckin dork  
> jejuboo: (me, whispering) i love you and i will protect you for the rest of my life
> 
> hongbingsu: you're all freaking whipped
> 
> jeongmom: hong jisoo: the only person in this godforsaken group chat to not use the word fuck
> 
> hongbingsu: i prefer to not have a limited vocabulary
> 
> skyscraper: wonwoo is a double major in literature and journalism and has published short stories anonymously in various anthologies and he still uses the word "fuck" at least ten times every hour
> 
> hongbingsu: not on my watch  
> hongbingsu: also, if there's ever a wikipedia page on jeon wonwoo, i'll know who wrote it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> until i figure out how the fuck i can attach images, i'll have to stick with this (sent an image) crap for now.  
> enjoy!! thanks for reading :3

7:06 p.m

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** chan is falling asleep on my shoulder and it's the cutest thing ever

 

 **jejuboo:** soonchan are so pure

 **jejuboo:** wait what are you guys doing

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** we're watching kingsman: the golden circle on my tv

 **eyeofthetiger:** i connected it to my laptop and we're streaming illegally whoops

 

 **jejuboo:** i take it back how can someone sleep through kingsmen

 

 **scoops: _*_** _collective gasp*_ chan is sleeping through kingsmen???

 

 **jeongmom:** sacrilege and blasphemy in my household? it's more likely than you think

 

 **lamppost:** i heard kingsmen, i have arrived

 **lamppost:** chan is what now

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** chill yall we've already watched this twice, it's been a busy day for chan

 

 **jejuboo:** what did y'all do?

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** we were at the studio for awhile, worked on choreo for his year-end stage at school, practiced for 4 hours or so

 

 **jeongmom:** aw,, let the poor baby sleep

 **jeongmom:** you too soonyoung, get some rest and drink a lot of water

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** will do, thanks mom

 

 **junwhee:** did.. did a peaceful conversation just happen in this group chat?

 

 **lamppost:** some people just like to watch the world burn

 

8:17 p.m

 

 **rapperchoi** : yall i balanced two matchsticks on my lashes today

 

 **jejuboo:** fuckin dork

 **jejuboo:** (me, whispering) i love you and i will protect you for the rest of my life

 

 **hongbingsu** : you're all freaking whipped

 

 **jeongmom** : hong jisoo: the only person in this godforsaken group chat to not use the word fuck

 

 **hongbingsu:** i prefer to not have a limited vocabulary

 

 **skyscraper:** wonwoo is a double major in literature and journalism and has published short stories anonymously in various anthologies and he still uses the word "fuck" at least ten times every hour

 

 **hongbingsu:** not on my watch

 **hongbingsu:**  also, if there's ever a wikipedia page on jeon wonwoo, i'll know who wrote it

 

8:26 p.m

 

 **skyscraper:** yo yall if you're free now won and i are going to get supper, feel free to join us, we'll be at the mcdonalds on the second street from campus

 

 **jeongmom:** sorry gyu cheol and i are kinda having an off day so we'll be resting for abit :(

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** so am i, chan and i'll catch u guys next time

 

 **xumingho:** on the other hand, jun and i are hungry 

 

 **junwhee:** well, i'm not, but hao is so we'll go

 

 **rapperchoi:** kwannie and i are on our way

 

 **literalsun:** jihoon is busy composing but i'll stop by to pick up some food in case he gets hungry

 **literalsun:** you can never go wrong with fries

 

 **xumingho:** i just really want apple pie

 

 **junwhee:** and apple pie you shall get

 

8:39 p.m

 

 _**skyscraper** _ _has sent an image_

 

 **skyscraper:** me and the bois

 

 **xumingho:** i got my apple pie :D

 

 **junwhee:** he actually got three apple pies

 

 **lamppost:** gyu and i just got hashbrowns

 

 **skyscraper:** hell yeah, all eight of them

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** hash browns? at this hour?

 **eyeofthetiger:** damn son you live like this?

 

 **literalsun:** we also got fries

 **literalsun:** jihoon babe i got fries for u open up

 

 **woozy:** ill nyoom to the door

 

 _**literalsun** _ _has sent an image_

 

 **literalsun:**  my boyfriend and fries (2017)

 

 **jejuboo:** whats up bitches 

 **jejuboo:** hansol is crying on my shoulder 

 **jejuboo:** we just watched kingsmen

 

 **jeongmom:** you can arrange those three messages in any way and it works

 

 **rapperchoi:** WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE

 

 **literalsun:** woAh tiger jihoon and i haven't watched the golden circle be quiet

 

 **scoops:** watch it, now

 

 **xumingho:** ^^

 

 **jeongmom:** ^^

 

 **hongbingsu:** ^^

 

 **junwhee:** ^^

**littlegiant:** ^^

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** ^^

 

 **skyscraper:** ^^

 

 **lamppost:** ^^

 

 **jejuboo:** ^^

 

 **rapperchoi:** ^^

 

 **literalsun:**...

 **literalsun:** we'll watch it once jihoons done with his stuff

 

12: 46 a.m

 

 **literalsun:** what the FUCK

 

 **woozy:** that was amazing, a masterpiece of our century

 

 **literalsun:** its so funny watching him type this through his tears

 **literalsun:** never mind he just came over and hugged me really tight and now im soft

 

 **skyscraper:** at least he still talks

 **skyscraper:** after wonu and i watched it he hibernated in our room under the sheets and didn't emerge for seven hours

 **skyscraper:** i had to play "dead poets society" really loud on the computer to coax him out

 

 **junwhee:** and the pancakes don't forget the pancakes

 

 **skyscraper:** oh yeah i had to text jun to bring us pancakes from the cafe down the road 

 

 **literalsun:** why didn't you just make him some

 

 **skyscraper:** i would, but we were out of baking soda

 

 **lamppost:** hey,,, i am an emotional dude

 **lamppost:** if that movie didn't make you cry some way or another then you're dead to me

 

 **jejuboo:** looks like i'm dead to you then

 

 **lamppost:** how can you be dead to me when you've never been alive to me in the first place

 

 **xumingho:** this, this slander

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** hello 911? i'd like to report a murder

 

 **jeongmom:** damn i've raised this child well

 

 **scoops:** can't believe i've witnessed homicide with my own two eyes

 

 **rapperchoi:** seungkwan can't come to the phone right now

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** why?

 **eyeofthetiger:** oh, cause he's  **dead**

 

 **rapperchoi:** pretty close to the truth

 **rapperchoi:** he's uh, on the floor

 **rapperchoi:** he's unmoving

 **rapperchoi:** should i kick him

 

 **jejuboo:** honey if you dare i will cut off both of your legs with a blunt saw and sew them to your shoulders

 

 **skyscraper:** aand he's back

 

 **woozy:** too bad, that was a peaceful two minutes

 

 **jejuboo:** what have i done to deserve this disrespect

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yAll yes i love kingsmen i would die for it and yes i did cry when * died, i sobbed on my carpet. props to me for managing to make them all kingsmen fanboys without spoiling anything ohoho someone hire me-
> 
> jk ill stop ok i love u all and thank you so much for reading!! please leave comments if you have anything to say, they truly light up my world :)


	3. adam?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jejuboo: dealbreaker: pineapple on pizza or not
> 
> rapperchoi: yes
> 
> hongbingsu: i agree
> 
> literalsun: y'all wildt to put a FRUIT on PIZZA
> 
> lamppost: well bitch a tomato is a fruit too and u slather that shit all over the dough what's your point
> 
> skyscraper: um yes that's my only religion
> 
> jeongmom: last time cheol tried to put pineapple on our pizza and i yelled at him
> 
> scoops: i love a Delicacy what do you mean-
> 
> junwhee: well i'm not that into pizza anyway but hao always orders it with pineapple so i guess its a yes
> 
> mingho: pineapple on pizza? Yes
> 
> eyeofthetiger: yeah why wouldn't you-
> 
> littlegiant: and this is why we always order separate pizzas
> 
> woozy: if it's pizza i'll take it  
> woozy: except for olives fuck olives
> 
> skyscraper: WE'RE ON A WHOLE OTHER ARGUMENT HERE
> 
> lamppost: sorry babe im going with jihoon on this  
> lamppost: olives are Nasty™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck you all pineapple on pizza is AMAZING 
> 
> please enjoy this chapter :D

11:02 a.m.

 

 **jeongmom:** if yall are hungry, cheol and i just woke up and are about to head for brunch

 **jeongmom:** we'll be at the cafe down the street

 

 **skyscraper:** brunch is such a white person concept but Alas, i am hungry and i must satiate this craving

 **skyscraper:** wonu lets go get white people brunch

 

 **lamppost:** im lazy and comfortable and idw to move

 **lamppost:** also, we just had breakfast

 

 **skyscraper:** what can i say i cook for thirteen and eat for thirteen

 **skyscraper:** get dressed we're going out

 

 **lamppost:** uGh fine

 **lamppost:** give me a sec to put on some pants

 **lamppost:** im going to lend ur hoodie btw

 

 **skyscraper:** sure 

 **skyscraper:** you mean you weren't wearing  _pants?_

 

 **jejuboo:**  gyu just nutted

 

 **jeongmom:** INAPPROPRIATE

 

 **lamppost:** it's 11 in the morning, im tired and i have two lit essays to hand up by monday, forgive me for not wanting to put on some fuckening pants

 

 **literalsun:** for a second i thought you meant a lit essay like a cool essay and i was gonna ask what is was about

 

 **lamppost:** hey are you suggesting that Father Returning Home by Dilip Chitre isn't lit

 

 **scoops:** literally no one here knows who or what that is

 

 **skyscraper:** i do, only because he's read it to me before

 **skyscraper:** not to say i understand

 

 **lamppost:** okay im out lets go

 

 **woozy:** yo seokmin and i didnt get breakfast so we'll be following along too

 **woozy:** and why are you and gyu texting each other when you live in the same apartment?

 

 **lamppost:** technology has engulfed our society like a phagocyte engulfing pathogens and we're being broken down like the pathogens inside the phagocyte through these tools

 **lamppost:** soon enough we'll be absorbed into the cytoplasm that is addiction

 

 **literalsun:** does that mean we're pathogens?

 

 **scoops:** god everytime i try to forget u took biochemistry in high school you just have to come back and haunt me

 

11: 19 a.m

 

 **scoops:** um we managed to lose seokmin

 

_**skyscraper** has sent an image_

 

 **skyscraper:** found seokmin

 

 **scoops:** oh thank god

 

 **jeongmom:** yes thank god you nearly lost one of my favourite sons

 

 **scoops:** "one of"

 

 **woozy:** how can u lose a 178 cm tall man

 

 **lamppost:** i dont know, i lost mingyu once

 **lamppost:** more like he lost me, actually

 

 **jejuboo:** both of you are 180 cm and above what the fuck-

 

 **lamppost:** thats exactly how i found him

 **lamppost:** his head was like above the toy shelves

 

 **skyscraper:** i checked the book section and you weren't there

 

 **lamppost:** i've finished everything in that month in one week

 **lamppost:** i was in the dairy aisle

 

 **woozy:** ew, dairy

 

 **mingho:** me, side-eying jun beside me

 

 **woozy:** w h  a   t

 

 **mingho:** i suddenly am illiterate, goodbye

 

 **skyscraper:** suddenly?

 

 **mingho:** im going to shove your toilet brush so far up your ass you'll be able to brush your teeth with it

 

2: 59 p.m

 

 **jejuboo:** dealbreaker: pineapple on pizza or not

 

 **rapperchoi** : yes

 

 **hongbingsu** : i agree

 

 **literalsun** : y'all wildt to put a FRUIT on PIZZA

 

 **lamppost:** well bitch a tomato is a fruit too and u slather that shit all over the dough what's your point

 

 **skyscraper** : um yes that's my only religion

 

 **jeongmom** : last time cheol tried to put pineapple on our pizza and i yelled at him

 

 **scoops:** i love a Delicacy what do you mean-

 

 **junwhee** : well i'm not that into pizza anyway but hao always orders it with pineapple so i guess its a yes

 

 **mingho:** pineapple on pizza? Yes

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** yeah why wouldn't you-

 

 **littlegiant:** and this is why we always order separate pizzas

 

 **woozy:** if it's pizza i'll take it

 **woozy:** except for olives fuck olives

 

 **skyscraper** : WE'RE ON A WHOLE OTHER ARGUMENT HERE

 

 **lamppost:** sorry babe im going with jihoon on this

 **lamppost** : olives are Nasty™

 

 **skyscraper:** we're breaking up

 

_**lamppost** has sent an image_

 

 **skyscraper:**  suddenly im even more in love

 

 **literalsun:** is that what he does when ur mad at him

 **literalsun:** because if jihoon did that i'd get mad at him more often

 

 **junwhee:** that is the cutest face i've ever seen on wonwoo and i've been his friend for six years

 **junwhee:** what have you done to him

 

 **scoops:** isn't that your hoodie

 

 **skyscraper:** yes, yes it is

 

 **lamppost:** update guys: mingyu has hugged me and now we're on the sofa and i cant move

 

 **skyscraper:** stop texting and pay attention to me-

 

 **scoops:** aaaaand kids that is how u never break up with your boyfriend

 

 

5:29 p.m. 

 

 ** _junwhee_  ** _has started a chat with **lamppost**_

 

 **junwhee:** fuck

 **junwhee:** i can't talk to my parents once in my fucking life without them bringing this shit up

 

 **lamppost:** yo what's going on

 **lamppost:** are you okay?

 

 **junwhee:** everytime i call my parents to ask about their day like the good son i try to be they have to bring up the fact that im not dating a nice chinese girl

 **junwhee:** emphasis on the word girl

 

 **lamppost:** damn that's horrible

 

 **junwhee:** yeah, it is

 **junwhee:** just for once i want to bring hao back home during chinese new year and finally be able to tell my parents "meet my boyfriend xu minghao"

 **junwhee:** they don't even know i've gotten a boyfriend because i didn't want to tell them over the phone

 **junwhee:** other couples could've gotten married in the three years that hao and i have been dating

 

 **lamppost:** that sucks man

 **lamppost:** why don't they approve of you being gay though?

 

 **junwhee:** i have no fucking idea

 **junwhee:** all i know is that everytime i call to ask them about their day and if they're well

 **junwhee:** they have to ask "so, have you gotten a girlfriend yet?"

 **junwhee:** no i havent, because i have this perfectly amazing boyfriend who you guys can't meet because you're so close minded you can't accept someone not being straight

 

 **lamppost:** it's going to be okay 

 **lamppost:** if it comes down to it i guess you should just go ahead and tell them about your feelings

 **lamppost:** if they really don't understand or they're still against it, then i guess they're missing out

 **lamppost:** but still i'm glad you ranted to me man

 

 **junwhee:** yeah ranting to you really helped, i didn't want to tell hao because i didn't want him to get stressed out

 **junwhee:** thanks :)

 

 **lamppost:** no prob man

 **lamppost:** do you two wanna come over to gyu's and my place? we're doing a harry potter marathon 

 **lamppost:** first three movies today and the rest tomorrow

 

 **junwhee:** does that include fantastic beasts

 

 **lamppost:** obviously

 

 **junwhee:** hao and i are on our way

 

6: 17 p.m

 

_**junwhee** has sent an image_

 

 **junwhee:**  harry potter marathon!!

 

 **xumingho:** and guess what we ordered

 **xumingho:** that's right bitches

 **xumingho:** pineapple pizza

 

 **lamppost:** the freshest most amazing hawaiian pizza

 **lamppost:** and we ordered four of them

 

 **literalsun:** that's four too many 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there is my stance on pineapple pizza
> 
> despite @thighjeon's lovely kind help with how to insert images i still can't put in anything but once i really figure this out i'll be providing even MORE material
> 
> sorry for the VERY LIGHT ANGST with jun and his parents it wasn't really angst but here's the start of me attempting to give this story some substance
> 
> ily all and thank you for sticking with this gc fic pls expect more to come!! rmb to comment below on ur thoughts for this chapter and also a little fun fact: what hogwarts house are you in?? i'm a ravenclaw but i definitely have some slytherin traits :D thanks for reading!!


	4. i can't believe you've done this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> woozy: sup y'all i did the thing
> 
> xumingho: had sex?
> 
> junwhee: sucked someone's dick?
> 
> jeongmom: murdered someone?
> 
> hongbingsu: hid the body?
> 
> woozy:  
> woozy: no to the first one and none of your business to the other three
> 
> xumingho: ooo whose dick did u suck
> 
> jeongmom: seokmin's you idiot who else
> 
> xumingho: ah right
> 
> junwhee: isn't the more pressing question here who he murdered
> 
> hongbingsu: nah not really, i mean, it's jihoon  
> hongbingsu: if soonyoung doesn't reply in twenty minutes call the funeral home
> 
> woozy: y'all idiots but listen tf up  
> woozy: i've done great things in my lifetime  
> woozy: but nothing like this
> 
> junwhee: spill it u dweeb what did u do
> 
> woozy: i mixed yoghurt and wine
> 
> rapperchoi: retCH
> 
> woozy: where the fuck did you come out from, you gremlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D bts and exo got awards im so happy bless them and their fans!! 
> 
> on another note, pls enjoy this chapter! it's a bit late but i just woke up from a nap  
> please dont question why my naps start at 11 pm and end at 1 am
> 
> love yall, enjoy and thanks for reading!

2:17 a.m

 

 **scoops:** someone 

 **scoops:** mingyu and i are in serious need of help

 

 **jeongmom:** well actually it's more of mingyu that needs help

 

 **lamppost:** what did my boyfriend do

 

 **scoops:** so we went out to have a lil drink

 **scoops:** and somehow this idiot thought it would be a good idea to mix his liquor

 

 **lamppost:** what did he drink?

 

 **scoops:** two yaeger bombs and three bottles of soju

 

 **jeongmom:** he is currently dazed and incoherent

 **jeongmom:** he's mentioned u about four times out of the seven times we've understood him

 

 **scoops:** apparently your eyes are like the night sky

 

 **lamppost:** what exactly is he saying

 

 **jeongmom:** *hiccup *giggle "there's the night sky, it looks so much like wonwoo's eyes, i think its in his eyes"

 

 **lamppost:** where are you

 

 **jeongmom:** the pub down the street from that cafe we went to for brunch

 

 **lamppost:** im on my way

 

3: 29 a.m

 

 **scoops:** apparently mingyu likes to get dominant when he's drunk

 

 **jeongmom:** even more dominant, you mean

 

 **hongbingsu:** how exactly would you know

 

 **jeongmom:** there are things that the kids just like to confide in their parents with

 **jeongmom:** and this is one of those things

 **jeongmom:** don't worry jisoo, your time will come soon

 

 **hongbingsu:** ssSsSSSSSSsssnake

 

 **jejuboo:** you just ruined cheols' storytime

 

 **scoops:** its more of a live storytelling

 **scoops:** currently happening in, uh, the room down the hallway

 

 **junwhee:** *BARGES IN THE ROOM* ARE MEANIE FUCKING

 

 **jeongmom:** i hope not, i just changed the sheets

 

 **scoops:** nah they're just making out

 

 **jejuboo:** "just" making out

 

 **scoops:** wait the noises stopped

 **scoops:** STORYTIME ABORT ABORT WONWOO JUST WALKED OUT WITH HIS SHIRT LOSING BUTTONS AND A GIANT HICKEY ON THE SIDE OF HIS NECK I REPEAT A GIANT HIC

 

 **xumingho:** woah where'd dad go

 

 **jeongmom:** cheollie??

 

 **junwhee:** can't you check if you two are in the same apartment

 

 **jeongmom:** i could but i was in the bedroom and he was in the living room and there's no noises coming from the outside and its deathly silent and i am truthfully terrified to step outsie right now

 

 **junwhee:** if wonwoo got ahold of him rip in peace cheol

 **junwhee:** wonwoo's scary as fuck when he's mad

 

 **jejuboo:** i agree

 **jejuboo:** his eyes look dead and cold and scary

 **jejuboo: *** ier than usual

 

 **scoops:** this is wonwoo from cheol's phone

 **scoops:** im currently holding him in a headlock as im typing this

 

 **xumingho:** how long are your fuckening arms

 

 **scoops:** thats beside the point

 **scoops:** let this be a warning

 **scoops:** never disclose the details of someone making out in the room next to you

s **coops:** that is all, jeonghan, your boyfriend is free now come and get him

 

 **jeongmom:** all because yall couldn't wait to go home smh

 

9: 07 a.m

 

 **littlegiant:** woah what happened

 

 **junwhee:** meanie almost fucked

 **junwhee:** they made out in jeongcheol's apartment in the spare bedroom and cheol got attacked by wonu

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** yall had a Wild night chan and i were just sleeping tf

 

 **literalsun** : jihoon and i too

 

 **xumingho:** if yall dont mind the question

 **xumingho:** who tops and who bottoms in meanie

 

 **lamppost:** i am suddenly awake

 

 **jejuboo:** Fucc

 

 **lamppost:** nah its fine gyu and i dont really care about stuff like this

 **lamppost:** just be sure to respect whoever you're talking about and if they dont want it shared then dont share it

 

 **literalsun:** wonwoo's a whole dad too

 

 **lamppost:** oh and if you wanted to know

 **lamppost:** gyu tops

 

 **jeongmom:** jisoo owes me five bucks

 

 **jejuboo:** and i owe vernon three

 

 **lamppost:** now to go care for my hungover boyfriend

 

 **jejuboo:** how did he even manage to wake up before noon after drinking so much

 

 **lamppost:** oh he's going to go back to sleep

 **lamppost:** he just stirred so i'm going to get water and pills and lie beside him

 

 **jeongmom:** meanie, a whole Couple

 

2:47 p.m

 

 **woozy:** sup y'all i did the thing

 

 **xumingho:** had sex?

 

 **junwhee:** sucked someone's dick?

 

 **jeongmom** : murdered someone?

 

 **hongbingsu** : hid the body?

 

**woozy:**

**woozy:** no to the first one and none of your business to the other three

 

 **xumingho:** ooo whose dick did u suck

 

 **jeongmom:** seokmin's you idiot who else

 

 **xumingho:** ah right

 

 **junwhee** : isn't the more pressing question here who he murdered

 

 **hongbingsu:** nah not really, i mean, it's jihoon

 **hongbingsu** : if soonyoung doesn't reply in twenty minutes call the funeral home

 

 **woozy:** y'all idiots but listen tf up

 **woozy:** i've done great things in my lifetime

 **woozy:** but nothing like this

 

 **junwhee:** spill it u dweeb what did u do

 

 **woozy** : i mixed yoghurt and wine

 

 **rapperchoi:** retCH

 

 **woozy:** where the fuck did you come out from, you gremlin

 

 **jejuboo:** i think i just threw up in my mouth a little

 

 **jeongmom:** and how did it taste

 

 **woozy:** amazing

 **woozy:** i've done everything at this point

 **woozy:** where's your god now

 

 **littlegiant:** is no one disconcertened about the fact that he's drinking wine at 3 in the afternoon

 

 **jeongmom:** well it's not before noon so he's fine

 

8: 17 p.m

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** yall i just witnessed coups down four shots of vodka unblinking

 

 **hongbingsu:** oh good you're alive i was planning whether or not to call the funeral home

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** you said twenty minutes, its been 5 hours

 

 **hongbingsu:** eh my watch isn't working

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** s

                              s    

                               S

                              S

                                   S

                                         s                                      

                                      S

                                           nakey

 

 

 **scoops:** it worries myself that i've come to this point

 

 **skyscraper:** my head hurts

 **skyscraper:** what did i do

 

 **jejuboo:** wow did you just wake up

 

 **skyscraper:** yes but good news i slept off the hangover

 **skyscraper:** now wonwoo is asleep beside me

 **skyscraper:** another book is on his face how does he sleep

 

 **jeongmom:** ah yes what did you do

 **jeongmom:** you made out with wonwoo in our apartment

 

 **skyscraper:** oh my god did i make that hickey

 

 **jejuboo:** would you rather it wasnt you

 

s **kyscraper:...** you right

 **skyscraper:** oh god i didn't hurt him did i

 

 **jeongmom:** nah 

 **jeongmom:** contrary to that, apart from the makeout session, you were really soft

 

 **jejuboo:** lmao cheol has suddenly gone very quiet

 

 **scoops:** I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET HEADLOCKED BY WONWOO AGAIN

 

 **skyscraper:** he did what now

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah there's my view on meanie 
> 
> i don't want this topic or my fic to start disagreements so please respect my view on this, i know there are people who think that gyu bottoms and won tops or that they switch and that's fine too, this is just my take on it, thank you all :)
> 
> also, two out of three events in this chapter actually happened in real life today and i'll let yall guess what they were :))
> 
> love you all and thanks for reading! pls leave comments if you have anything to say, they truly make my day


	5. look at all those chickens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> literalsun: if potatoes are seeds  
> literalsun: and u need seeds to grow the plant  
> literalsun: how the fuck are potatoes grown
> 
> woozy: are you seriously asking this  
> woozy: you, as a biochemistry student
> 
> literalsun: FIRST OF ALL that was in high school  
> literalsun: secondly, it's a legitimate question
> 
> lamppost: i gotcha  
> lamppost: basically 
> 
> skyscraper: a genius?? in my household? its more likely than u think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter intro than usual, AND I'LL POST THAT INTRO IN THE NEXT CHAPTER,,, im so so sorry for putting this off for so long but i finally have the time and energy and also a huge burst of inspo to write and write so here you go!! thank you all so much for reading :)
> 
> i hope yall enjoy!!

11:23 a.m

 

 **jejuboo:** annyeong

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** NANEUN URI JIBUI PRINCESS

 

 **jejuboo:** AS MUCH AS I LOVE PRISTIN THIS ISNT THE TIME

 **jejuboo:** MY BOYFRIEND IS M I SS I  N   G

 

 **woozy:** oh thank god

 

 **jejuboo:** //////s./.ws/w//????????/

 

 **woozy:** i mean,   oh    n。

 

 **skyscraper:** what do you mean hansol is missing

 **skyscraper:** where did you last see him? 

 

 **jejuboo:** idk he said he was gonna go to the bathroom

 **jejuboo:** we're at a shopping mall by the way

 

 **scoops:** ok u stay there

s **coops:** we'll go over

 

_**rapperchoi** has started " **KWAN'S SURPRISE"**_

 

_**rapperchoi** has added  **scoops, jeongmom, hongbingsu, junwhee, eyeofthetiger, lamppost, woozy, literalsun, skyscraper**  and **littlegiant** to  **KWAN'S SURPRISE**_

 

 **rapperchoi:** GUYS COME OVER TO THE MALL AND FIND ME IM IN THE BOOKSTORE DONT BUMP INTO KWAN IM DOING SOMETHING FOR HIM

 

 **scoops:** woah whats this for 

 

 **rapperchoi:** ok so he recently got into the semifinals of this singing competition

 **rapperchoi:** its pretty lowkey because they'll film all the preliminary rounds first, release them weekly, and then the final will be live, thats why seungkwan has been busier nowadays with all the filming

 **rapperchoi:** dont worry he gave me permission to tell yall but he just doesn't know that im doing it with yall

 

 **jeongmom:** WHY DIDNT HE TELL US

 

 **rapperchoi:** he was really paranoid that he wouldnt get into finals and let us all down

 

 **literalsun:** aw we would never

 

 **hongbingsu:** aw kwannie :(

 

 **rapperchoi:** BUT!! thats why im planning this, the plan is ill get a cake and balloons and stuff and a gift for him as a surprise

 **rapperchoi:** but i need ya'lls help

 

 **jeongmom:** sure what do you need

 

 **lamppost:** gyu and i are on our way, what do you need us to pick up?

 

 **rapperchoi:** imma need you guys to head to the florists otw and pick up a bouquet 

 **rapperchoi:** ill pay y'all back later

 

 **lamppost:** nope we'll pay for it

 **lamppost:** is that all?

 

 **hongbingsu:** i'll pick up soonchan and we'll be there in ten

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** we're ready and waitin'

 

 **littlegiant:** yep

 

 **scoops:** hannie and i are coincidentally really nearby we'll be there in five mins or smth

 

 **literalsun:** jihoon and i are like two minutes away we were planning to go there for lunch

 

 **xumingho:** jun and i are also otw

 

 **rapperchoi:** great i have the gift, jun and hao can ya'll pick up the cake?

 

 **xumingho:** sure

 

 **jeongmom:** the parents will get the balloons

 

 **literalsun:** then soonchan, jihoon josh and i will distract kwan :D

 

 **rapperchoi:** thank y'all so much

 

 **lamppost:** dont worry about it

 

11:49 a.m

 

 **jejuboo:** y'all i still cannot find him i m afraid

 **jejuboo:** he aint pickin up either

 

 **scoops:** calm down son we're on our way

 

 **jejuboo:** im in the foodcourt

 **jejuboo:** right in front of the drinks stall

 

 **hongbingsu:** we're almost there

 

_**KWAN'S SURPRISE** _

 

12: 03 p.m 

 

 **rapperchoi:** ok we got everyone

 

 **literalsun:** we've moved to the water fountain to pretend to look for u 

 

 **scoops:** ON OUR WAY

 

-

 

Seungkwan is starting to fidget, and Seokmin can't help but start to look around for Hansol and the others. Jihoon is beside him, and on his side is Joshua, and on the other side of Seungkwan, Chan and Soonyoung.

"Hey, calm down, it's gonna be alright!" He says, in an attempt to cheer his best friend up. 

"Yeah, I'm just worried." Seungkwan says, and looks around him. There are a few people in twos and threes, a couple of elderly women are sitting across from them on a bench.

"Maybe his phone just died or something and he's looking for me?" Seungkwan mutters, more to himself than anything else. 

"Yeah, I'm sure it's just that." Jihoon says, and it's rare for him to be this openly caring- usually he prefers to show it in sudden private moments, which obviously are just as appreciated.

Seungkwan stands up and is just about to go to the information counter to report for his missing boyfriend when there's a tap on his shoulder.

He turns around, and he sees all seven of the rest of his friends behind him- Mingyu and Wonwoo are holding balloons, pretty white and blue ones, and Jun and Minghao are holding a cake box. Seungcheol and Jeonghan are grinning at the side like a pair of proud parents and none other than his boyfriend, Hansol Vernon Chwe, who was holding a bouquet and a beautifully wrapped box in his other hand.

"Congratulations on getting into semifinals!" All twelve of them yell, and Seokmin and Soonyoung bounded over and ruffled his hair.

""Why didn't you tell us?" Jeonghan snickers, and Seungkwan has the biggest smile on his face right now.

"We'd be more than happy to watch every single one of your shows even if it was you painting a wall for an hour." Soonyoung says.

"What would you paint in one hour?" Chan wonders, slinging an arm over Seungkwan. 

"I don't know, but that's the furthest my attention span goes."

"You guys..." Seungkwan says, seemingly at a loss for words. 

"Hey, don't mention it." Wonwoo speaks up. "You've done stuff for us, don't be afraid to expect some great stuff from us once in a while."

"For now though," Vernon speaks up, "My boyfriend deserves to finish this amazing cake and also these flowers need to get into water soon!" 

Seungkwan laughs and they all smile. 

Later at a cafe, Seokmin accidentally knocks over a glass of coffee and Soonyoung mistakes a fake flower on the cake for a real one. But Seungkwan wouldn't trade that for pretty much anything in the world.

That, and his amazing boyfriend, currently looking at him with the warmest smile he's ever seen on his face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment if you have anything to say :) i love you guys and your constant support! i hope you enjoyed this mini verkwan chapter :D


	6. lIPstICK in my ValENTINO WhITE bAG???!??!/

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> skyscraper: i've never experienced more true fear than when i just walked into wonwoo with his glasses on, his black hoodie drawn up, tomato sauce from pizza around his mouth and the exorcist playing full blast on the tv screen
> 
> literalsun: is he that scary with his glasses on
> 
> skyscraper: they reflect a lot of light and it looked terrifying
> 
> lamppost: i mean, i am your lamppost after all
> 
> xumingho: true fear? true fear is when you've mixed all of your fever and cough meds and you can't see straight and you keep seeing things dash across your vision
> 
> junwhee: you what the Fuck now?  
> junwhee: thats it we're moving out
> 
> jejuboo: maybe you should... stop reading junji ito at midnight
> 
> xumingho: over my DEAD BODY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoooosh im expecting quite a few updates since its cny break :D
> 
> pls enjoy!!! ily all <3

11:27 a.m

 

 **scoops:** never ever combine rollercoaster vr and butterscotch ice cream

 

 **jeongmom:** especially with 5 year old children

 

 **junwhee:** but like, imagine if children were the cocktail shaker and u made them swallow the ingredients

 

 **xumingho:** jun babe i think that's enough coffee

 

 **junwhee:** it is. i finished everything

 

 

_**junwhee** has changed his own username to  **pleasesavememybloodisvibratinginmyveins**_

 

 

 **xumingho:** sit tight i'm coming over

 

 **pleasesavememybloodisvibratinginmyveins:** i knew it wasnt a good idea to raid the drawers

 

 

**_pleasesavememybloodisvibratinginmyveins_ ** _has changed **xumingho** 's username to  **thebestsunflowertheonlyGoodThing**_

 

__

**thebestsunflowertheonlyGoodThing:** im flattered but im trying to be mad at you for finishing my arabica beans and you arent helping

 

 **pleasesavememybloodisvibratinginmyveins:** im sorry you're so cute all the time

 

 **woozy:** is no one concerned that jun finished a whole drawer of coffee

 

 **literalsun:** you guys are cute and all

 **literalsun:** but if jun doesn't get that shit out of his system he's gonna fuckin combust

 

 **skyscraper:** YOU FINISHED HAOS ARABICA BEANS

 **skyscraper:** I WAS GONNA MAKE WONWOO A COFFEE SPONGE CAKE WITH THOSE

 

 **lamppost:** you were gonna what now

 

 **skyscraper:** ,n tnothing babe,,,, jsscroall down

 

 **scoops:** does this mean that jun just mixed instant coffee and actual bean coffee

 

 **woozy:** seokmin

 **woozy:** where did the canned iced coffee in our fridge go

 

 **jeongmom:** as your mother i think i have the courtesy to warn you that jun has in fact bribed seokmin to steal his own coffee

 

 **woozy:** at this point im not even bothered

 **woozy:** it was expired anyway

 

 **pleasesavememybloodisvibratinginmyveins:** it was what now

 

2:06 p.m

 

 **thebestsunflowertheonlyGoodThing:** update: my boyfriend is currently entirely exhausted and he has twenty six empty water bottles around him .

 

 **skyscraper:** out of how many

 

 **thebestsunflowertheonlyGoodThing:** thirty seven

 

 **skyscraper:** get him more

 **skyscraper:** he needs to get rid of that caffeine before he goes insane

 **skyscraper:** after that he's probably gonna sleep for fourteen hours straight

 **skyscraper:** make sure he has water

 

 **literalsun:** how do you know this

 

 **skyscraper:** wonwoo is in lit and he's been through four days without sleeping and surviving on instant ramen and coffee

 

 **scoops:** you allowed him to do that??

 

 **skyscraper:** that was before we started dating

 **skyscraper:** but he has still ransacked my coffee shelf before and it was not pretty

 

 **literalsun:** ,,, i'll take down notes

 

 **hongbingsu:** this is why you stick to eight hours of sleep

 

 **jeongmom:** jisoo ive caught you sobbing at a replay of harry potter and the order of the phoenix at 3 in the morning

 

 **hongbingsu:** who's jisoo i dont know him

 

7:09 p.m

 

 **literalsun:** if potatoes are seeds

 **literalsun:** and u need seeds to grow the plant

 **literalsun:** how the fuck are potatoes grown

 

 **woozy:** are you seriously asking this

 **woozy:** you, as a biochemistry student

 

 **literalsun:** FIRST OF ALL that was in high school

 **literalsun:** secondly, it's a legitimate question

 

 **lamppost:** i gotcha

 **lamppost:** basically

 

 **skyscraper:** a genius?? in my household? its more likely than u think

 

 **lamppost:** you take a potato that is forming shoots

 **lamppost:** you know when a potato starts to grow shoots? yeah you take that and bury it in soil

 **lamppost:** then the potato shoot will start growing taller, like it's gonna extend more and grow in general, and the roots will grow too and they'll form more potatoes

 **lamppost:** then when it's "matured" you dig up the whole root and there u go, a whole potat

 

 **literalsun:** oh my god i cant believe im friends with a genius

 

 **lamppost:** you flatter me

 

10:48 p.m

 

_**jeongmom** has changed **pleasesavememybloodisvibratinginmyveins'** s username to **moonyjerry**_

_**jeongmom** has changed **thebestsunflowertheonlyGoodThing'** s username to **notaturkey**_

 

 **jeongmom:** you'll thank me later

 

0:19 a.m

 

 **skyscraper** : i know my boyfriend is cute and adorable and all but

 **skyscraper:**  i've never experienced more true fear than when i just walked into wonwoo with his glasses on, his black hoodie drawn up, tomato sauce from pizza around his mouth and the exorcist playing full blast on the tv screen

 

 **literalsun:** is he that scary with his glasses on

 

 **skyscraper:** they reflect a lot of light and it looked terrifying

 

 **lamppost:** i mean, i am your lamppost after all

 

 **notaturkey:** true fear? true fear is when you've mixed all of your fever and cough meds and you can't see straight and you keep seeing things dash across your vision

 

 **moonyjerry:** you what the Fuck now?

 **moonyjerry:**  thats it we're moving out

 

 **jejuboo:** maybe you should... stop reading junji ito at midnight

 

 **notaturkey:**  over my DEAD BODY

 

 **rapperchoi:** literally wht the fuck is up with junhao and overdosing on medicinal drugs

 

 **literalsun:** caffeine's a drug??????/

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** why else do you think it keeps us alive in finals week

 

 **lamppost:** keeping alive? soonyoung you kept yourself alive on running around the track yelling at the top of your lungs for all three weeks

 

 **eyeofthetiger:** and im not afraid to do it again

 

 **littlegiant:** i swear to god sometimes i think im the only normal one here

 

 **jeongmom:** please

 

 **scoops:** stay

 

 **hongbingsu:** that

 

 **woozy:** way

 

 **littlegiant:** you have my word

 **littlegiant:** also, who wants to cycle wildly around the block for this year's finals week destressing

 

 **hongbingsu:** it was nice while it lasted


End file.
